国外也有段子手:桑巴铁粉马特奥,人生赢家阿利松!
小伙伴们我们好,欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”!上星期的世界赛场精彩亮点层出不穷:巴西打败秘鲁夺得美洲杯冠军,阿根廷打败智利取得第三名;墨西哥打败美国夺得北美金杯赛冠军,美国女足则打败荷兰女足,勇夺第四座女足世界杯冠军。好了,话不多说,让咱们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!热苏斯传射又染红,巴西3-1秘鲁捧得美洲杯HarbyFullyLoaded_12(利物浦球迷):埃弗顿总算赢得了点什么,我很欣喜。(Nice to see Everton finally win something.)LLAbcd(巴西球迷):这场竞赛对咱们是双赢!获胜了就可以夺冠,输了就可致使信南美足联把贿款还给咱们呀!(Its a Win-win for us , we can either win this thing or we can write a letter to CONMEBOL asking for a refund.)Insertdankmeme(不知道主队球迷):梅西的那番话应该给秘鲁协助了,看起来裁判很想证明自己绝不是偏袒巴西…(I think Messi's comments could have helped Peru tonight. Seems like the ref is making it very clear he isn't biased towards Brazil.)PersianDj(皇马球迷):马特奥今日一定是巴西球迷!(Mateo will cheer for Brazil now.)NoseSeeker(委内瑞拉球迷):友谊提示下,巴西和秘鲁都没能在小组赛打败咱们,那美洲杯冠军是不是也得分给咱们委内瑞拉一份呢?(Friendly reminder that neither of these teams could beat us in the group stage. So I think it's only fair that the winner has to share the Copa with us.)Kuntheman(曼城球迷):作为阿根廷的曼城球迷,这场竞赛看得我真是纠结…(The conflicted feelings of being an Argentine Man City fan.)rafitoxD(帕尔梅拉斯球迷):非常感谢一切协助咱们操控南美足协的人,没有你们咱们真的夺不了冠呢!(I ANNA THANK EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THE RIGGING. WE COULDN'T WIN WITHOUT YOU.)limito1(克鲁塞罗球迷):这便是我缴税的理由!这样我的祖国就可以贿赂FIFA和南美足联官员了!(That's the reason I pay taxes, so my country can buy FIFA and CONMEBOL officials.)SmokingSnake445(不知道主队球迷):蠢萌又性感的阿利松,这长城般的防卫连中国都只能仰慕呢!(Stupid sexy Alisson, the Great Wall China can only ever dream of.)10PointsForStAndrews(苏格兰球迷):阿利松本年得了3次金手套奖了,但是却只有两只手,另一只手套应该套在哪里呢?(Three gloves but only two hands. Hash Tag First Place Problems.)梅西染红,阿根廷2-1智利Kaniyan_Poongunran(利物浦球迷):27年没有夺冠的阿根廷国家队,是一切世界杯冠军得主里冠军荒最长的了!英格兰在外。(Argentina's wait for a major title continues(27 years since the 1993 Copa America).Only England have a longer active drought amongst World Cup winners.)rodinj(荷兰球迷):那他们至少也赢得过世界杯冠军啊…(At least they won a world cup once :(Masterkid1230(沙尔克04球迷):现在可以说阿根廷便是南美英格兰队了?(Is Argentina the U.K. of South America? Probably.)bored-skull(不知道主队球迷):与此同时,马特奥在家大喊道:“我是南美足协的裁判!”(Meanwhile Mateo Messi at home – "I'm CONMOBEL referee.")Harkoncito(智利球迷):这场竞赛肯定是我看过的时刻最长的闹剧。(This is the longest meme I've watched.)Untheman(阿根廷球迷):有球员参与这场竞赛的沙龙,看球的时分估量都得吓尿裤子了…(All the club teams with players in this game were watching this game pissing their pants.)ProfesserFinesser7(墨西哥球迷):我祝福裁判今后的手机充电器永久都短一截,躺在床上充电就翻不了身!(I hope the refs phone charger is always short enough he can’t roll over to the other side of the bed.)Mozambikini(不知道主队球迷):我祝福裁判花一整天都在记忆犹新家里的最终一块蛋糕,成果回去一看现已被人给吃掉了!(I hope the ref spends all day thinking about the last slice of cake but when he gets home someone has already eaten it.)natedeezy_3(不知道主队球迷):看来梅西学会了利物浦的快发角球,今日就学致使用了呢!(Messi learned from that quick strike Liverpool did on his boys.)Shuryl(博卡球迷):说实话,想要看懂斯卡洛尼的换人,你得具有极端高的智商才行。(To be fair you actually have to have a very high IQ to understand Scaloni's substitutions.)热苏斯菲尔米诺进球,巴西2-0阿根廷arbitro_de_vidro(巴西球迷):阿利松这是能看穿未来10秒内能发作的事吧!(Alisson saw 10 seconds into the future.)XxCarrascoxX(秘鲁球迷):阿利松扑住梅西的射门,如同在说:“对不住,这儿不是诺坎普,下次再接再厉哦!”(Alison catching that like telling Messi "Sorry, this isn't Camp Nou, try again.)MatiasM8(阿根廷球迷):假如每次奥塔门迪XJBT的时分我就喝上一杯,那今晚我就得酒精中毒逝世不行…(Take a shot every time Otamendi fucks something up. I'll be dead from alcohol poisoning by the end of the night.)affenhirn1(巴萨球迷):我信任奥塔门迪便是一个机器人,编程设定为百分百的传球失误率!(I'm convinced Otamendi is a robot programmed to lose 100% passing accuracy.)KroenkesAdvocate(阿森纳球迷):和奥塔门迪比较,穆斯塔菲也算是个别面人。(Otamendi make Mustafi look composed.)GeorgeLockhartFanAMA(利物浦球迷):瓜迪奥拉带着奥塔门迪都能夺冠,看来他确实是榜首教练了…(The fact that Guardiola won anything with Otamendi is proof that he's the best ever.)Swbp0undcake(多特球迷):梅西怎样还一度踢上右后卫方位了…(Messi was playing right back for a bit there.)Zvronsnifsky(不知道主队球迷):阿根廷虽然有教皇,怎么办巴西有耶稣!(Argentina have the Pope but Brazil have Jesus.)(注:梵蒂冈教皇方济各是阿根廷人,热苏斯英文Jesus本意为“耶稣”)Rusiano(瓦伦西亚球迷):即使是到了10亿岁,阿尔维斯依然是巴西最好的后卫!(Even when he is like a billion years old, Dani Alves still feels like the best fullback Brazil could have.)melihs11(热刺球迷):让58岁的马拉多纳上场,估量都比今日的迪马利亚强得多!(A 58 year old Maradona would be more effective than Di Maria at this point.)44年来首进决赛,秘鲁3-0智利Joferifafar(智利球迷):咱们是成心输的,下阴间也要和阿根廷在一同!(We lost on purpose. We wanted to hunt Argentina in hell.)MaxPayne4life(不知道主队球迷):真实的决赛其实是争第三名…(The real final is the 3rd place match.)捧得金杯冠军,墨西哥1-0美国Palifaith(不知道主队球迷):作为丢冠的赏罚,就让美国男足替代美国女足去白宫吧!(The US men's team now has to go to the White House instead of the Women's team as punishment.)Off_Topic_Oswald(美国球迷):要被逼吃一天冰凉的麦当劳,还得和川普一同为难合影,这赏罚看来很到位啊!(Being forced to spend a day eating cold McDonalds and stand for awkward photo ops with Trump sounds like an appropriate punishment.)勇夺世界杯冠军,美国女足2-0荷兰女足PiGuys(不知道主队球迷):为了防止3-0的抢先,美国女足现已很尽力了…(US did everything they could to avoid a dangerous 3-0 lead.)waldron76(布里斯托流浪者球迷):荷兰女足的兴起,让咱们有了双倍的时机去见证荷兰队取得世界杯亚军…(the rise of womens football has presented us with the exciting possibility of seeing the dutch lose world cup finals twice as often as we previously thought possible.)好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为我们播签到这了,让咱们拭目而待,来看下期歪果仁们愈加精彩的尖锐吐槽吧!

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